Buy me

So, children, let us today talk about the power of band merch. Merch, for those of you not aware, means “merchandise.” Specifically, stickers, shirts, posters, patches, panties… whatever items upon which you can slap a logo can be band merch.

Said merch can be a useful way to meet musically like-minded individuals. I’ve had people talk to me in line at the store, shout out their car windows, chat me up while pumping gas, gotten the obligatory “cool cuy to cool guy” head nod while walking down the sidewalk, and in one case, had an honest-to-God conversation at a stop light regarding a Ruskabank sticker.

Shirts and patches are the best conversation starters, ’cause they don’t involve a vehicle. You can simply say “cool shirt,” figure out if you coworkers are total tools, and scope out potential partners based on band apparel. It’s like what Rob says in High Fidelity: “what really matters is what you like, not what you are like… Books, records, films – these things matter. Call me shallow but it’s the damn truth…”

Weirdest thing that ever happened to me regarding a band shirt happened at the Replay after the Electric Eel Shock show a couple weeks back. I was standing there by the door, smoking, drinking my beer, and trying to decide if a seventh PBR would be a good idea. All of sudden, the girl who’d been standing next to me and talking to her friends turns around and notices my Impossibles t-shirt.

Next thing I know, her shitfaced self is shrieking “Oh, wow! The Impossibles! I used to see them in Austin!” After that, she proceeds to throw her arms around my neck and starts singing… “When I feel in love with you I knew you’d learn to love me too, even if you couldn’t stand all the stupid stuff I do…” Fucking bizarre, random shit. That was when I made my exit and headed home to crawl into bed with the wife.

Weird shit happens when you wear band shirts.

the Impossibles – “Widowmaker
the Impossibles – “Enter/Return