About a girl

At work today… oh, Lord, at work today… I can’t even begin to think of how to describe the site that I saw.

Late morning, we’re all working at the bakery where I am employed, and the door opens. This is how customers enter the building; nothing out of the ordinary. The girl who walked in was, to say the least, quite extraordinary. While we get a certain number of oddly-dressed people in the store, this had to be the A+ #1 Gold Star Winner of outfits.

The girl was about 14 or 15, and wearing a button up the front sweater that was cut quite low. Underneath was a slightly less low cut t-shirt and what had to have been the most padded, underwired brassiere ever. This girl’s chin was merely an inch or two from the cleavage she was desperately trying to present. And the skirt? Oh, me oh my… the skirt. This was one of those denim, flouncy, pleated retro-’80s skirts that are slowly going out of vogue.

However, our girl was not satisfied with the already above-the-knee brevity of her skirt. Oh, no! She had cut it and flounced it out even further. The thing hovered high mid-thigh and went out about two or three inches on either side of her, as if she was permanently twirling. My eyes boggled in disbelief, and I hid behind the kneading table and gripped the edge of the oven with my back to the lobby and silently laughed for a good two minutes.

When I came up from my laughter, Nina was jumping up and down like some sort of crazed homunculus. She hissed, “LOOK!!!” as the girl turned around to leave. The skirt, flounced and shortened as it was, left about two inches of underwear showing.

This is where it goes from scandalous to somewhat sad. you’d think that a girl going to such great lengths to look “older” (i.e., whoreish) would be sporting some sort of trashy underwear. Leopard print, satin, thong, something. Nope. White cotton. And not just plain white cotton. As soon as the door closed, Summer said it best when she turned and said, “Man, I don’t need to be seeing some skank’s granny panties!” Wow. Just… sad. White cotton granny panties. Trying so hard to be older and scandalous, and just ending up seeming like she’s trying too hard. Poor kid.

The best part? She was riding in a car with her grandmother. That’s pretty much the icing on the cake.

the Time Flys – “Jailbait
the Police – “Don’t Stand So Close to Me