In honor of my drinking problem

Wow. The wife goes out of town, and I just sit in front of the computer, watch stand-up comedy, and drink too fucking much. Party animal me.

My friend Doug has a theory about drinking- well, more of a belief system, really. He says that if your glass never empties, then it continues to be just one drink, as there is part of that first drink even in the eighth or ninth refill. This is why he can drink two pitchers of beer and still says he’s only had “one drink.”

I subscribe to that theory, but only as far as it applies to beer. When it comes to mixed drinks, things get a little fuzzier (as far as logic goes). Mainly, as one starts drinking, the alcohol to mixer ratio is pretty low. One part booze to ten parts mixer, let’s say. However, depending on whether or not you knocked back one or two bottles of Boulevard beforehand, and how fast you’re knocking those drinks back, that ratio can get fucked up in a hurry… along with you. Before I passed out last night, I’m pretty sure I was drinking straight vodka with a couple of ice cubes and a slurry of lemon pulp around the edge of the glass.

In honor of my drinking too much, here’s a song about drinking, courtesy of Gainesville, Florida rock and roll trio the Grabass Charlestons. They sound a lot like Dillinger Four or the Beltones, and will seriously rock your ass off. You can their cds from No Idea Records for super cheap, and you’ll be happy you did.

Beer Exile