Capsule reviews

In which I review CDs that have been sitting next to my stereo since shortly after Thanksgiving. Just because they’re not timely doesn’t mean they’re not content…

Star Fucking Hipsters – “Until We’re Dead”
(Fat Wreck Chords)

Does every single band Scott Sturgeon (aka the Stza) is involved in have to sound alike because of a contract he signed somewhere, or is he just a one-note guy? Seriously – from Choking Victim to Leftover Crack to the Crack Rock Steady 7 and now Star Fucking Hipsters – the bands all have crust punk mixed with ska and Stza screaming political rhetoric over the top of them. Add in the various other acts that have shot off – No Cash, Stockyard Stoics, INDK, Morning Glory – and there’s a veritable sub-genre of bands that all sound EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME. It’s a good sound, but it doesn’t exactly take advantage of the possibilities the punk / crust / ska crossbreed would suggest. Star Fucking Hipsters do slow things down and add in some electronic effects, as well as the stellar keyboard work of World/Inferno Friendship Society and Hold Steady member Franz Nicolay, though. It’s also got some female vocals, which would be a pleasant counterbalance to Sturgeon’s screeching, except for the fact that Nico de Gaillo is equally as razor-throated, if not more so.
Download “Until We’re Dead” and “Two Cups of Tea.

Joey Cape – “Bridge”
(Suburban Home)

Joey Cape is the frontman of Lagwagon, as well as Bad Astronaut. A lot of these songs have already seen the light of day in electric forms from those bands. “Errands,” “B Side,” “Memoirs and Landmines,” “No Little Pill,” and “Mission Unaccomplished” all appeared on I Think My Older Brother Used to Listen to Lagwagon, which came out on Fat Wreck about two months before this record. In essence, rather than a “true” solo record, this is pretty much just reworkings of songs that have already been released, making it feel like a b-sides comp. It’s pretty good, and “The Ramones Are Dead” is worth picking it up alone, but since Cape’s split with Joey Sly was pretty much the same thing – acoustic versions of Lagwagon tunes – I’d really hoped this would have been a little different. It’s not bad if you want to hear some slowed down versions of songs you already know, but not so great if you want new material.
Download “Errands

The (International) Noise Conspiracy – “The Cross of My Calling”
(Vagrant)

Wow. When the “RIYL” tag on the front of the CD names two of the frontman’s previous bands, you know they’re not being honest. This does not sound anything like the Lost Patrol Band, nor does it sound even remotely like Refused. It barely even sounds like the first two T(I)NC records. Those were hip-shaking, modish garage efforts that managed to rock the joint. This is… fuck, I have no idea what happened. Dennis Lyxzen once had some sort of vocal strength and the desire to change the world, and now it just sounds like he wants to chill on the couch and watch Scooby-Doo. This is boring-ass hippy bullshit of the worst kind. Somewhere in the second half, it seems like the band might know how to rock again, but it’s pretty fleeting.
Download “I Am the Dynamite.

Hank III – “Damn Right, Rebel Proud”
(Sidewalk Records)

If ever someone could be accused of cashing in on a name, Hank III would be that person. Coasting on the fame and talent of both his father and grandfather, Hank III’s only claim to being musically worthwhile is pretty much shock value. The first track, “The Grand Ole Opry (Ain’t So Grand)” is a combination of both name-dropping and shock, with Hank swearing like a sailor and talking shit on the Opry for never reinstating his granddad. Lacking any sort of talent, and trying to offend anyone and everyone, this is pretty much just shit-kicker country for metalheads. If you listen to both David Allen Coe and Pantera in your pickup, then Hank III’s your man. If you like either the original Hank or Bocephus, this’ll probably turn your stomach.

Useless ID – “The Lost Broken Bones”
(Suburban Home)

Israeli punk rock. Once you get past the fact that Useless ID is from overseas, there’s really nothing to recommend them. Aside from the novelty value of “hey, not bad for a band from Israel,” the band’s pretty fucking bland. They sound just like a dozen other acts, like Rise Against or Bad Religion, and when those bands’ most recent lackluster efforts are better than your album, you might want to rethink your band. I appreciate that Useless ID is repping the scene over there in the Middle East, but that’s no excuse for boring the shit out of me.
Download “Blood Pressure” and “Killing A Ghost“.

The Riot Before – “Fists Buried In Pockets”
(Say 10)

Melodic punk rock, a la the Gaslight Anthem. It kind of breezed right by me. The Riot Before’s got that Lawrence Arms style where you’re not quite sure if the lyrics are serious or not – and titles like “You Can’t Sexy Dance to Punk Rock” don’t really help matters any. Still, if you like your punk a little anarchic and melodic all at once, with a touch of Americana twang… in other words, if you like O Pioneers!!!, Against Me!, or Fake Problems, this is probably your bag.
Download “5 to 9

The Shortcuts – “The Shortcuts”
(Self-released)

Hey, Mitch Clem drew the cover! It must be punk rock! And it is, done by four relatively talented females who are known collectively as the Shortcuts. They write songs about fighting, staying out too late, and crushing on people. In other words, it appears that the ladies can be just as clichéd as the boys. Still, it’s not too terribly stuck in a rut, and the Shortcuts manage to eke out a couple of tunes that show some promise. They draw a lot on Tilt and Discount, too, and that’s NEVER a bad thing.

The Backsliders – “You’re Welcome”
(Self-released)

No, thank you. I do not like white girl pseudo-soul. There’s exactly ONE band that does the whole soul / rock thing with a female singer well, and that’s the Bellrays. Even they get tiresome after a while. This is beyond tiresome. Whenever any band has “percussion” listed as something a band member does, it tends to venture beyond mediocre and into suck.