101 Reasons Why It’s Better
to Be a Woman Than a Guy


1. When you get back from a date, your friends don’t ask if you ‘scored’ or not.

2. You don’t have to worry about the person at the next toilet looking at your genitals.

3. Maternity leave.

4. You don’t have to worry about hiding erections at inappropriate times.

5. Ugly women can get laid, but ugly guys can’t.

6. A woman can never be sent to jail for slapping her husband.

7. You can get out of speeding tickets.

8. Strange guys in bars will buy you drinks.

9. You can sue for sexual harassment and not get made fun of.

10. You dominate fashion magazine covers.

11. Artists will cut off their left ear for you.

12. People will try to assassinate presidents for you.

13.You get couches in your public restrooms.

14. It’s okay to like opera.

15. It’s okay to like ballet.

16. It’s okay to like art.

17. You can’t be drafted.

18. If you don’t like sports, that’s okay.

19. If you are sensitive, and no one thinks you’re gay.

20. You don’t have to worry about pissing on your shoes.

21. Guys will pay for everything.

22. You don’t have to worry about asking guys out on dates, you can just wait for the guys to come to you.

23. You get to be in ads for the best brands of beer.

24. You can show PDA and not look like a pervert.

25. You smell better.

26. Society deems you the “gentle gender.”

27. You aren’t expected to know anything about cars.

28. You “get” Dr. Zhivago.

29. You’re allowed to appreciate Leonardo DiCaprio.

30. You’re allowed to cry.

31. You’re allowed to have stuffed animals.

32. You’re allowed to carry a bag with all the stuff you may need for an outing.

33. You get lesbians.

34. Male store clerks rush to your assistance.

35. Strangers will stop to help you change a flat.

36. You can walk through the lingerie section of a store and not feel awkward.

37. Guys think you look good even without makeup or in sweats (really.)

38. The less you wear, the more popular you become.

39. You are never challenged with making a guy have an orgasm.

40. You don’t need a cool car to get laid.

41. Your handwriting doesn’t suck.

42. You don’t hit your sexual peak until your thirties…not on prom night.

43. You can stay home all day and live off your spouse without being deemed a lazy bum.

44. Multiple orgasms.

45. You don’t have to mow the lawn.

46. You are never asked to kill a spider.

47. You never have to fix anything around the house.

48. You're never asked to open jars.

49. If you go to the bathroom in pairs or groups, no one thinks you’re gay.

50. No one ever knows when you break wind.

51.You can leave your boyfriend for any reason, and everyone will take your side.

52. Your hormones don’t make your voice crack, just your breasts bigger.

53. Naked women are beautiful, naked men are hideous.

54. Women can get drunk and not act like assholes.

55. You get to blame mood swings on your period no matter what time of the month it is.

56. Tyson Beckford.

57. You never have to worry if the people in your gym locker room are checking you out.

58. Guys are willing to bury their faces in the most obnoxious, germ-ridden parts of your body.

59. You can dance with someone of the same sex and not be labeled as gay.

60. The thought of women masturbating turns guys on.

61. You can have guy friends and not worry about what people think.

62. You don’t feel pressured to have sex with every guy on earth.

63. If your man is sick in bed, you don’t have to go buy him feminine hygiene products.

64. You don’t have to worry about what your friends think your boyfriend looks like – they will judge him on personality, not looks.

65. If you get into a fight your friends will help you.

66. Your friends won’t boast about how great their relationships are, especially their sexual relationships, when you’re single.

67. You can wear boxers, a sweater, and a cap to an early morning college class and still look damn good.

68. You can achieve orgasm with thought alone.

69. Your friends are supportive when you’re single and depressed about it.

70. Fifty dates equals fifty free dinners and/or movies.

71. One word: Alimony.

72. You don’t have to ogle…a quick glance will suffice for you.

73. You don’t have to build the courage to ask someone out, plan the evening, pay for it, and call in a few days to hope that person is interested in doing something with you a second time.

74. You don’t have to play mind games with the person you go out with in order to find out whether he likes you or not - you're a woman, of course he likes you.

75. You never have to put your other arm in an uncomfortable position all night when spooning (since you are always on the inside).

76. You get to play with boobies all day.

77. You never have to worry about meeting the parents - they will love you no matter what, they're just glad their son's not queer.

78. You rarely have to worry about saying just the right thing at just the right time in order to prevent a fight you never knew was coming – in short, you plan all the fights: what they are about, when they will start, and when you will forgive him. Which is immediately after the flowers.

79. Your friends don’t treat sex as a sport that you must participate in as often as possible.

80. When you’re introducing your new boyfriend to your parents, your friends don’t worry that you’re getting too involved.

81. You don’t have to keep track of your boyfriend’s haircut.

82. You’re never expected or asked to move heavy or large objects.

83. Guys don't care if you're coming out of a relationship - women look at a guy on the rebound like cancer.

84. You’ll probably know well in advance if your boyfriend is ready to dump you. (i.e. you aren’t dumped quickly and unexpectedly, nor replaced in the same manner)

85. You’re not excused for being blunt, thoughtless, having or discussing meaningless sex, or anything else people find in social distaste about you with the phrase “It’s okay, you’re a guy.”

86. No one will ever say to you “You’re so great, I hope someday I meet someone just like you to date/marry/fuck stupid.”

87. People don’t think you have an inflated ego if you drive an expensive sports car.

88. You can look below a guy’s chin and not be perverted.

89. Every guy on the planet likes it when women check them out – women act like guys checking them out are creeps. Even if they wear v-neck Saran Wrap shirts. Hookers.

90. Speaking of which, you get to wear skimpy outfits and no one thinks you’re a show-off. It’s just fashion.

91. Preppy boy bands write songs about you...I mean, no one ever wrote a song about my tender heart wanting it that way.

92. You can call a guy a jerk anytime he does something you don’t like.

93. You can make as many close friends with the opposite sex as you want.

94. You can put up with small children, if fact, you enjoy them.

95. You aren’t deemed a pervert by the opposite sex if you own porno material, actually, you’ve just earned ‘coolness’ points.

96. You also gain ‘coolness’ points for liking Star Wars, car engines or sports, talking about sex openly (to a degree of course), for asking a guy out, or for pissing in a McDonald’s parking lot.

97. You don’t get “numb jaw” when performing oral sex.

98. Guys are always willing to give a chick their coat in the cold.

99. It’s no problem finding someone to dance with you at a club.

100. You don’t have to wear a condom.

101. You can have sex anytime, anywhere, with anyone you want.